Danielle's Princess Diaries

Vent

2012-02-16T14:47:00.000-08:00

This post is mostly just to vent. Something I forgot to add in the catch up post a few days ago was that I had foot surgery back in October. It was a combination of several injuries but basically...they removed some bone, scar tissue, repaired my two major tendons that were "shredded" (that's a medical term!) and lengthened my calf muscle.

It doesn't sound like a lot but it was pretty major. Its been 5 months and I am not even close to being recovered. I went in for a check up today and my orthopedic surgeon I am no where near healed to where I should be. I'm only about 2 months along...again its been 5 months. He said I scar a lot worse than most people, which I knew, and that the new scar tissue is causing some problems. So basically we just have to wait and see what happens in the next few months before we can make a decision about what we need to do. I was ordered to stop physical therapy and given a script for pain pills.

Ugggghhh.

It's been very frustrating. I can't hike. I can't run. I can't play kickball on the team Mike and I signed up for a few months ago. I can't do anything! It's just been a huge downer and kind of killed my mo-jo for the day :(

On another note, Jack has been teething like crazy the last few days. He's been running a terrible fever and I can't get him to eat anything. We are having success at this very moment. I'm feeding him a banana as I type this. Pffft! Who said I can't multi-task?

Someone always has it worse...

2012-02-13T16:21:00.000-08:00

I thought this was extremely important to share. I want to complain because I feel fat? So trivial compared to the real world. Please read, watch and share!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/13/diane-aulger-mom-induces-labor_n_1272938.html

Well hello 2012.

2012-02-13T12:47:00.000-08:00

So...it's almost been an entire year since I have written here. I always say I am going to start writing in my blog. Then I do great for a few days or weeks, and then it falls by the wayside. Well, my best friend and I have an agreement to write in our blogs once a week. It will be a good way for us both to connect, catch up since we are long distance, and its a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy.

So since the last time I visited, some things have happened..

My tiny sweet baby has grown in a toddler. I love him more than anything, but wow. Who knew the terrible almost two's, could be so fucking terrible? He hits. He doesn't listen. He throws these awful fits. He eats like 4 foods and won't try anything else. He still shits himself. Our house is always a mess. He's always a mess. I'm always a mess. Its exhausting. But I love him. He has his good moments too, and man when they are good, they are they good. He has the most infectious laugh. He smiles a lot, and he smiles with his eyes. He's very smart. He can tell me where his nose and mouth and feet are located. He loves to follow me around the house and babble like everyone is listening. Who know's what the fuck he is actually saying. Probably something about how all these politics and debates have mentally mind fucked him and Congress needs to start working together towards a real solution for the economy.

My best friend had a terrible break-up last year, then left me and moved across the country to start her dream job, and now gets to travel all over the place. I hope she can eventually see what an amazing opportunity this is, even though she left beautiful Arizona for Minneapolis, Minnesota. Its freezing there!

We had a death in the family last September. It was very unexpected and hit my parents especially hard. My dad is the youngest of three boys. The middle brother Tom, had cancer, and told no one. He died of an infection in his blood. I got a call that morning, that my parents were coming down from Flagstaff because he was in the hospital. That night I went with my parents to visit and he took an immediate terrible turn and died within a few hours. It was pretty devastating for my dad. He was in the room and had to make the final call after 7 epi pens and 27 minutes of CPR. He lost his mom and older brother within 3 years of each other. His dad was killed in a car accident when he was 18. He hasn't had it easy, and I certainly have no right to complain about the cards I've been dealt.

Those were the big happenings in 2011. I'm really hoping 2012 will be a much better year for everyone. I've told myself since January 1st that I am finally going to lose all the weight I've gained since high school. I've been so up and down, so I really haven't gotten started. So tonight Mike and I are headed to the gym and hopefully this will get the ball rolling!

This past weekend, Whitney Houston died. Her cd was the first one I ever owned so it made me kind of sad. It's all anyone on tv can talk about right now. So to close, I would like to leave you with a quote from our beloved Whitney Houston:

CRACK IS WHACK!!

Epiphany?

2011-03-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, 2 blog posts in 1 day? Within minutes of each other? I must be off my rocker...

I have this app on my phone with thousands of quotes. I love it. I try to take something from it every day. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in other things, I forget. But not today.

I was just skimming through all the quotes and it made me think of my most favorite book ever. Before I tell you the title, let me just tell you, if you read it, it will change your life. Even if it only changes your life for a minute, I promise you, it will! There aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe how marvelous this book is. It has this incredible ability to make your perspective do a complete 180.

I am a very glass half empty kind of girl. I complain a lot. I always think things could be better. But every so often, I am reminded of this book and its message and I take a step back and say "whoa, D, do you really have it that bad?" Sometimes I think the answer is yes, and sometimes it really is. Like when my grandma died. Where is the bright side of that you optimistic pricks?! PS- Yes, I call myself D, as do many people.

So here it is, the greatest book ever written, in my humble opinion. Please read it. You won't regret it. But more importantly, take something from it. The people in your life will be thankful that you did.

If you don't have time to read the book, you can watch the actual lecture here. Grab the tissues!

Don't be a drag, just be a drama queen

2011-03-24T14:28:00.001-07:00

There is something to be said about people who constantly engage in drama. Lately, I've been one of those people. Not because I like to, or because I thrive off of it (only sometimes when its really juicy shit) but because I chose to take action. I chose to protect myself, and my family. Apparently, that makes me a bad person, i.e., a drama queen.

You know what the funny thing about all this is? Everyone has an opinion, and they care to voice it. That's fine. They have that right. But given the situation, I am pretty sure if you found out someone was saying horrible things about you, and saying your family's personal information (which they shouldn't know in the first place) you would be fucking pissed too.

This is sort of a vent post if you can't already tell. I just don't like be labeled a drama queen when I was simply doing what's in my nature. I am a mama bear. My husband is my partner, and my son is my cub. Do you ever watch animal planet? Well I do. In fact, I'm obsessed. Have you ever seen how badass a mama grizzly bear is? You can't even get within 100 feet of her cubs or she will rip your ass into shreds. That's me.

I've always prided myself in being up front, blunt, and not fake about how I feel about things or people. For A LONG time, I was completely, 100% fake about certain people because I felt like I had to be to keep the peace. Who wants to live their life like that? Certainly not me and the light finally went off one day. I am a good person. I would do anything for my family and my friends. But to live and not be genuine because I cared what other people think? No way. That's not in my nature.

So if me calling you out makes me a drama queen, where's my crown biatch? Because I don't see it that way.

Can't believe it

2011-03-15T15:28:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe we are almost halfway through March and I haven't written in my blog in almost a month. Will someone please remind me I need to do this a couple times a week? Yes, I am that girl. I need someone over my shoulder yelling at me to do things. So what.

Anyway, this year is flying by! We are already planning our summer vacations, Jack's first birthday (OH MY GOD! WHAT??) and plenty of other things.

A big shout out to one of my best friends, Ms. Ashley Nelius, who got engaged a few weekends ago! I am so happy, excited, thrilled, and over the moon for her and her new fiance Brad. I love him! He is seriously one of the sweetest guys you will ever meet and they could not be more perfect for each other! So hopefully we will be booking a trip to Alaska for their wedding soon. (That one was for you Robin!) I guess I'll take the time to explain that little joke. Ashley has said before she was thinking of a destination wedding, which we all know, Danielle does not do bathing suits. And since it's all about me, and the bride's older sister Robin, we decided Ashley will be getting married in Alaska, where we can all wear snow suits. And more importantly, be covered up. Yay!

My 26th birthday is coming up in less than a month. I am FREAKING OUT. I know I've said that about every birthday after 21, but for reals this time. I am closer to 30 than 20 and I just feel sad. I won't be in my mid-20's anymore. I feel old and responsible. It sucks! Who wants to be 26? Certainly not me. So if anyone has some positive pick-me-ups or words of wisdom, send them my way.

Mike decided that we are taking Jack to SeaWorld for his first birthday. He is our first born and we wanted to do something BIG. So since he is too small to ride anything at Disneyland, we decided to take him on a seeing adventure at SeaWorld. I'm pretty stoked. I haven't been there since I was a kid. And a friend of mine who was recently there, told me they serve booze! Even better.

We have also decided that since Arizona is like hell on earth during the summer, Jack and I will be spending a lot of time in Flagstaff this summer with my parents. I am actually really excited about that for a couple of reasons. #1- it's gorgeous up there in the summer! I think the average is mid 80's + pine trees = does it get any better? #2- I will have an excuse as to why I don't want to spend my entire summer up in Idaho with my mother in law. What sane, sober, daughter in law would do that anyway? I want to take the time to find all the good hiking trails, restaurants, camping areas, and all the stuff the "highlanders" do for fun. So again, if you are a local Flaggy, send me some tips!

I have a few things I want to plug today, so here is my list:

World Market- amazing wine & beer selection for spring!

Pat's Run- sign up for a run or a create a shadow run for a really great cause!

Ash & D- 2003

Our skinny days! :)

A random act of kindness

2011-02-10T20:21:00.000-08:00

I am getting worse and worse about remembering to write in this damn thing! Ugh!

Welp, not much has been happening. We are going to Vegas this weekend for my little brother's 21st. Holy shit I feel old. Being 5 years apart, our milestones are also 5 years apart and I remember turning 21 like it was yesterday. Time flies! I got a new car a few weeks ago, thanks to my awesome husband. I told him what I wanted and he just came home with it one day. How cool is that? Pretty damn cool. Oh! I do have an amazing story to share. This happened to me today. Bear with me or bare with me? Meh, whatever. I don't get sappy often so enjoy :/

This morning I woke up, reached over to my nightstand to grab my phone (it doubles as my alarm clock) and I couldn't feel it! So I picked my head up off my pillow and look over and its no where to be found. At first I thought "Oh shit, some little phone bandit snuck into our house, up into our bedroom and jacked my awesome iphone 4! Well, props to him for not waking me up in the process, he earned it." Then I realized I was still half asleep and I sat up, started to look for it and found it. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH OH MY FUCKING......FUUUUUUCK!"

Oh it was there. Inside my water cup. That just so happened to be half full of water. I took it out and of course it didn't work. How the hell did that happen you ask? I have no fucking clue. But I was pissed. Literally 2 days ago, we canceled our home phone because we never, ever used it. So now, I was stuck at my house, with an 8.5 month old and no fucking phone. So I run downstairs, e-mail Mike and told him to call me on Skype. Thank god for modern technology! What ever did people do before cell phones? No seriously.

So we decide to take it to the Apple store to see if the geniuses at the Genius Bar can do anything to save it. I was so devastated. Its no secret that cell phones are more than cell phones these days. It doubled as my camera & video camera. I had tons of pictures and videos of Jackson on there. I am also one of those people who does not back up my phone often, so I had no clue what I had saved and what I hadn't.

Cried the whole way to the mall, walking through the mall, and even in the Apple store. Our associates name was Tyler. He was this cute little hobbit look alike. He explained what happens when the inside of the phone gets wet and then said those words I did not want to hear "there is nothing you can do except replace it." I started bawling. Not just crying, bawling. Side note- I also started my period today so you can imagine what a peach I was to be around. He explains to us that there is an upside. "An upside? A fucking upside to this? Well Mr. Glass half full, do tell!" He explained us that a brand new iphone 4 would be $600-$700 to replace, but because my phone was less than a year old and he could somehow work this into the warranty, he would only charge us the upgrade price of $199. "Sold!" We were elated. A few hundred bucks and still plenty of money leftover for Vegas.

So Tyler goes to get the phone and I again, start with the water works. I just could not control myself. Those are images I could never get back. I never thought how precious those moments really were until I didn't have them anymore. Tyler comes back with my new phone, and I'm still crying my eyes out but I am trying to keep my composure because now the entire store is staring at me, asking what's wrong, and probably thinking Mike beats me.

Tyler: Danielle, raise your right hand

Me: (Raises right hand)

Tyler: Do you promise and solemnly swear to not drop your new phone in water or at all?

Me: I promise to not drop my phone in water or at all.

Tyler: Do you promise I won't see you back here with a damaged phone anytime soon?

Me: I promise (starting to giggle a little...)

Tyler: Well then, here is your brand new iphone, on me

Me: WHAT? OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SERIOUS? NO! No, I can't accept that. That is too nice

Tyler: I have a 5 year old son. I did the same thing to mine a few years ago and I was devastated. Anything I can do to make this situation better for someone else, I'd be glad to.

And there you have it. Some random Apple employee I have never met in my life, out the kindness of his heart, did the most amazing thing just because he didn't want to see someone else go through what he already did. Well, it was the most amazing thing to us. Who seriously does that? I cannot thank him enough, he seriously made my day. No my whole fucking week!

Now to the really good part. Oh, you thought that was it? Not quite silly....

I get home, all excited but still a little bummed about not being able to save my pictures. I sync my phone and my entire phone is restored!!!!!!!! HOORAY!! I got all my pics, my videos, my contacts, my calendar, everything I needed. I only lost a few things from the last few days. I cried, again. But these were most definitely tears of happiness & relief.

I don't know what I did to be having such good karma right now, but oh man, am I ever counting my lucky stars. So thank you Tyler for making this day amazing for me, it wouldn't have been the same without you.

No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind

action leads to another. Good example is followed.

A single act of kindness throws out roots in all

directions, and the roots spring up and make new

trees. The greatest work that kindness does to

others is that it makes them kind themselves.

-Amelia Earhart

Causes

2011-01-24T23:23:00.000-08:00

Somewhere I said I was going to start writing in my blog more. Let me be the first to say I am terrible at keeping promises. I am narcissistic and I always let my life get in the way. Oh well, deal.

I am all about causes. I think people who are Oprah rich (like Oprah!) should help the less fortunate. What else are they going to do with all that money? Wipe their ass with it? Although they very much could, and I probably would for shits n giggles (no pun intended) I think helping a "cause" is a much better way to get into heaven. I do not think St. Peter looks too highly on people that waste Benjamin's to wipe their butt. I am also all about causes that are near and dear to your heart. Now, I think its great to get involved, period. But I often wonder why people get involved with things/causes/charities/events they have no ties to? Let's be fucking real people. Like really real. I have this theory that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed. Yes, just like the Friends episode. People often say "I do it because it's the right thing to do." Um, bullshit! You do it because it makes you feel good about yourself. And there is nothing wrong with that. Why has society put such a stigma on people that feel good about the charity they do? I have a friend who did the 3-day cancer walk for breast cancer. To my knowledge, no one in her family has ever had breast cancer. I found that odd. And while we are on this topic, why not a Cancer walk? For all cancers? Breast cancer isn't the top cancer killer in women. How about lung cancer? Pancreatic cancer? Shame on you walk/run organizers. Don't discriminate!

Anyway, back to being really real. I was wasting time while trying to fall asleep tonight and decided to visit one of my favorite blogs. I won't give you the name because I don't want you wasting your time on their blog, I want you to stay here. So tough. There was something that caught my eye. It was a post about a children's hospital in Texas where kids design art and they sell it for you to buy. The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center Children's Art Project is definitely something you need to check out. Here, cancer is not the focus, the art is. And its beautiful. What could be more beautiful than an child putting their thoughts, dreams, and visions to life? As a newbie mom, I have a soft spot for anything having to do with sick kids. Not to mention, everyone in my family has been taken because of some form of cancer. Double whamie.

So there, that's my cause for the time being. I also have a soft spot for animals. But I really don't feel like bawling my eyes out so I won't post any animal links.....today.

Not a good start

2011-01-18T19:26:00.000-08:00

So 2010 was the year of hell as far as health goes. 2011 is not off to a great start either. Yesterday I went for a fantastic run, came home and did my jump rope workout. I was so proud of myself. I felt great. As I got done jump roping, I walked into my kitchen to get some water and SNAP! I stepped wrong and swear to god felt the worst pain ever. I looked down and it looked like a golf ball was attached to my ankle. I immediately started screaming and crying.

To make a long story short, we went to the ER because things were not calming down. My ankle isn't broken but another part of my foot may be. So my workouts will have to be put on hold. I am on crutches and have a walking boot that I have to wear for 6-8 weeks. I tore all my major ligaments and some tendons. I am in tons of pain but they gave me some good drugs. I follow up with an orthopedic surgeon soon. Too be continued....

Well hello there beautiful

2011-01-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

I just don't even know where to begin. It's been over a fucking year (Oh, I tend to have the mouth of the sailor. Ask the kids to leave the room) since I have posted anything. So so so much has changed! So whoever you bet that Mike and I wouldn't last, pay up. We are still together and more in love then ever. Cue the aw's. Since I last posted, the only real thing that has changed is that our son has arrived! He will be 8 months old tomorrow.

Wow. Really? 8 months? Jesus Christ time is flying. Remember when you were a kid and a week seemed like forever away? Getting older blows.

Anyway, Mike is in a great position to allow me to stay at home with Jack. His real name is Jackson but I call him Jack, you can too. At first, I wasn't loving it. There are no words worthy of describing to new parents what having a child is like. They are nothing but crying, hungry, poopy little takers! I thought for sure I was going to shoot myself those first few weeks. But we made it through. He is growing like crazy, crawling, and things are starting to get fun.

A new year is recently upon us and one of my New Year's resolutions was to be active every single day. Even if it's just walking up and down my stairs 2o times. I need to get off my butt and do something! I have made a conscious decision to start training for a 1/2 marathon. I know, I KNOW! I am bat shit crazy and you think I can't do it. Shit, I don't think I can do it. But I have a friend who just ran her first this morning. I am so inspired by the way she has really taken her life by the reigns and just goes out and does things. I want to be that person. I don't want to be the person who says I am going to do this, and then it falls by the wayside. Nope, that is not me, not anymore! So here I am, spilling my guts to you all because its time for some accountability. I have my shoes, my gear (except for a watch thingy that will tell me my distance and time. What are those called?) I am to start training tomorrow. I am hoping I can get Mike to do this with me. I need that companionship and accountability, and what better way to bond than to do something like this together? I'm excited. I'm scared. I still think I am bat shit crazy. I even went and got this amazing book called "The Non-Runner's Marathon Guide for Women." Even if you have no intention of running a marathon, go get it. It's a funny read while pinching off a loaf.

I am off now, to enjoy my last carb-filled meal at the ol' mother in laws house. Wish me luck!

"Rarely, you will find glory without struggle." Let's do this.

Graduation at last!

2009-12-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

So much has been happening lately. Most notably, I have been getting ready for my college graduation! FINALLY! I am so excited this day has come (this Friday actually) I got so screwed with my previous advisor and had to take classes 2 at a time for the last 2 semesters. I should of been done so long ago, but the important thing is that its here. I have the perfect plan of attack- study for the GRE while pregnant, study over the summer, take it at the end of the summer and hopefully apply by next fall for graduate school. My plan (since the program is only offered in Flag) would be to take baby with me up to Flag the days I need to be at school, find a day care, and stay with mom and dad, and commute back down here on weekends, etc. Necessary sacrifices!

I am 16 weeks into my pregnancy and still feeling really sick. But I have gotten some energy back, so thats good. Christmas is just around the corner and I have pretty much got all my shopping done. Now I just need to find a cute maternity holiday outfit, I have some parties to go to!

Well, things have changed slightly..

2009-11-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

I really need to get better at updating this more. I keep going through these dry spells. I have SO much to tell you all!

First and probably the most exciting, Mike and I found out we are expecting! Totally not part of our "plan" but things change! We threw it all to the wind when a good, older friend of mine died. I went through about a week of "life is too short" and "what are we waiting for" About a month after deciding we weren't going to prevent or try, I found out I was pregnant! Those Shaw boys!

Second, I am FINALLY graduating this winter! I have worked so hard the last 2 years to make this happen and I could not be more excited. With a baby on the way, grad school will have to wait till next year. But I have a plan for that too! I am even graduating with honors. Who would of thought?!

Thats pretty much the biggest news I have right now. Mike and I are enjoying life. It feels good to be home on the weekends. I can remember maybe 3 weekends all summer that we were actually home. Between Cali, camping, Coeur D'Alene, and Flagstaff, we were gone all the time. I am so excited that Thanksgiving is right around the corner. We have some wonderful family things planned, and then X-mas! I am so excited for our first Christmas as a married couple. I do not think I am up to the task of hosting (thats what happens when you cannot cook!) but its just nice to finally be in a grown-up place.

Its sleepy time for me now, I sleep more than 12 hours everyday and I am enjoying every minute of it! Thanks baby Shaw!

Wowwweeee!!

2009-08-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been quite some time since I have posted. Life has been crazy lately and we have been enjoying every minute of it.

Mike's birthday weekend turned out great. He made out like a bandit and we had a fabulous Friday night at Toby Keith's, excellent Saturday night (his actual birthday) dinner at Flemings, and a low key Sunday.

This last week, Mike and I drove his moms car up to Coeur D'Alene, Idaho. By far the most gorgeous place on the planet. His uncle owns a house there on the Spokane River (actually in Coeur D'Alene and connects to Lake Coeur D'Alene) and his mom is renting a house up there for the entire month of August. So we decided to road trip it, and spend a few days there. It was absolutely amazing. Its like an upscaled Flagstaff, and everything is centered around the lake. The food, the shopping, and the views!! Ohh the views! I am super excited because we get to go back up at the end of the month and stay for a whole week. My mother in law hadn't even been in town for 12 hours and was already looking at some potential real estate. Love it!

I posted an album on facebook of the entire trip, I'll post just a few on here. These pictures do not even do the place justice. Mike and I are already talking about moving up there. They have great school systems, everyone is so nice, and Gonzaga is 20 minutes away in Spokane- graduate school potential? Oh yes!

Front of Mike's uncle's house

His gorgeous kitchen

View from his back porch, west 5 minutes and you hit Lake Coeur D'Alene!

Mike's uncle's custom African Mahogany boat

Yummy!

2009-07-09T16:15:00.001-07:00

So for those of you who don't know, I am a wine junkie. Not connoissuer, JUNKIE! AJ's, Bevmo, and Sportsmans are my three favorite places to shop for wine. Anyway, so I found this incredible Australian rose wine (perfect for summer!) at AJ's. Go get it, its only a $10 bottle right now. Enjoy!! :)

2 days

2009-07-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

Only 2 more days until Mikey's 27th birthday! I am so excited, well kind of. He has been sick all week and finally went to the doctor today. Its one of three things; an ulcer, really bad case of indigestion, or an even bigger problem with his galbladder. I am hoping he feels better by tomorrow night. I have this whole fun weekend planned for us. Tomorrow night Mike, myself and a bunch of friends are going to Toby Keith's Bar...and the rest I cannot tell you since he reads this blog and its a surprise. I don't do much but I put a lot of thought into this weekend. Hope he likes!

I am almost done with my first week of statistics (for the second time @ ASU) and omg, this class is so much easier than the first time I took it. My instructor is young and everything is done on the computer!!! NO HAND CALCULATIONS! YAY! Infact, my quiz tomorrow is 5 multiple choice questions. Not joking.

There really isn't much going on right now and I kind of like it this way. Mike and I did however just finalized our Idaho plans for next month. This isn't just Idaho we are going to, its friggin Coeur D'Alene! One of the most beautiful places on the planet. His ridiculously rich uncle has a house there and my MIL rented a house for the entire month of August. I feel so vein and selfish when I say this, but it's nice to be married to money. You get to mooch off everyone! What else is family for? We are going to my uncles house in Maine this fall...it works both ways! My parents have done super well for themselves (Flagstaff, ATV's, and vacations are NOT cheap) but Mike's family? Whole other level. I am hoping when Mike officially becomes the CFO of his moms company (in a few weeks maybe?) we will be the ones owning houses everywhere, taking vacations, and driving our dream cars. Its a good motivator for me to get through these last 3 classes I have, and find a good graduate school. When you work hard, and get big rewards, its nice to toot your own horn every now and then. It's not necessarily about material things, its just nice to reward yourself when you have put a lot of effort into something. I am so proud of you Mikey, you have worked so hard the last year

Still Struggling

2009-07-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

4th of July weekend was grrrrreat! I spent 4 straight days with my husband, best friend, and her boyfriend.

Thursday night we went to Roosters for nickel beers. It was so busy and so packed that we actually ended up leaving early and going back to my parents house. Now when I say my parents house, I don't mean we went back and hung out with my parents. My mom and dad have a house in Flagstaff, and they live and work there during the week. They come back home to Mesa on the weekends. So its still their house, they are just never there! My 19 year old brother has this fabulous party house all to himself. Lucky Bastard!

So anyway, we went back to my parents house, drank my brothers friends beer, and then took a magical trip to Fili B's. It brought back so many memories for Ciji and I, it was fabulous.

Friday we went to Salty's to meet up with some friends and fam, had a few drinks and talked- a lot.

My mother in-law lives at the Scottsdale Waterfront. We spent the 4th at her house eating, drinking the best sangria, and watching fireworks from her rooftop pool. It was pretty money.

Sunday we all went golfing, and it actually wasn't too hot. We didn't play like it wasn't hot, but whatev. We had fun!

Rooftop @ The Waterfront

Drunk picture, taken from my cell of fireworks. I thought it turned out cool! :)

So now its back to reality = summer school, work, and lots of annoying things going on. I am still struggling with a lot of resentment I have towards Mikes family. Even though we are married, and almost 3 months into being married, people are still treating us like kids. I feel like we are constantly getting jipped because we don't have kids and are the youngest. For example, this coming weekend is Mikes birthday. His first birthday we are spending together as a married couple. I was so excited to finally be able to make all the plans, tell people whats going on, and be in charge of planning a wonderful day for him. I got to plan mostly everything, except make dinner reservations. Dinner at Flemmings was my idea. So when I get an email from my MIL that says "blah blah blah I'LL MAKE RESERVATIONS.." naturally, I was pissed. Lady, you have had plenty of time to be in charge of Mike's life. Now its my turn, move over.

Was the sentence in all caps really necessary? I know that she was a single mom, I GET THAT. I know that her and Mike have this special, unbreakable relationship, I GET THAT TOO. But when the hell do I get to step up to the plate and be number one? I sound like a whiny baby, but for fuck's sake! I have been dealing with this for over 5 years. I honestly thought things would change once we got married. I know I don't contribute all the time like I should. There is only so much I can do while going to school and working at the fucking piece of shit toy store 25 hours a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHH! So I do my best; I clean, I sometimes cook, I try to come up with fun things, and fun trips for us to do, and I always, always, always have his back. I try my best dammit, and never in my life has that not been good enough, until now.

I just don't know what to do. I am so frustrated. It makes me resent his family, and more importantly, him. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I don't feel like I am. I have had these feelings for years. If it were as easy as casting them aside, I figured I could do it by now.

BREATHE! I am hoping that this weekend will go by smoothly. I have to get through one dinner with her and thats it. See how horrible its gotten? I don't even want to celebrate my own husbands birthday with a certain side of someones family (lets be real, we all know who I am talking about, I am just trying to be a little nicer) This weekend is supposed to be happy and a celebration and I want nothing more than that for Mike. I feel like this is the calm before the storm, and things are about to get much worse. I said previously that I have never been the type to hold my toungue, and in this instance, I have. But you can only back a dog into a corner for so long before they lash out and bite.

2009-07-01T19:23:00.000-07:00

So today was extra sad. I have noticed there is a lot of sadness in my life all of a sudden. My great Aunt Bonnie added me on facebook. I love her by the way, so creative! She had all these great pictures of my grandma, and when I saw them, I just started bawling. I cannot seem to get over this. UGHHHH.

This weekend is 4th of July weekend. I am so excited! Lets just say that alcohol WILL be involved. Lots of it. I am writing in my blog while I should be writing a paper. WHOOPS.

PS- Did you guys know that Michael Jackson died? (insert sarcasm here!!)

2009-06-30T18:11:00.000-07:00

I seriously have so much on my mind right now. Its literally running 9865874354165 miles a minute! I have a final essay to do by midnight at Thursday, I have to get my lazy ass to the gym, I must have sex with my amazing husband (will explain) I have to plan for the 4th of July, get ready for 2 summer classes that start next week, give Boston a bath, get a kitty spayed, pick out paint, clean out our closet....all this while my heart breaks for Mikey.

First, the sad stuff. Mike and I were driving home from the driving range last night and got into a little discussion about family, how everyone is so different, and thats its ok to not like certain people and not get along with certain people. We stopped at Sonic to get some drinks (they have the best summer drinks) and all of a sudden Mike wouldn't look at me. He sniffled and my heart sank. I knew he was crying. To make a long story short- Mike and his older brother have drifted apart over the last few years. They are 2 different people, who see the world much differently and are on 2 different pages in their lives. We talked about how they don't really get along, definitely don't agree on much, and how family get togethers seem like a chore. I was so heartbroken for him- me and my brother are about the same distance in age, but we are very close. Mike said "he just isn't the same to me anymore. He is a different person. I miss my big brother." UGHH. It was awful. I felt completely helpless. I explained to him that people change, and he understands that, but it still doesn't make this any easier. Things change when priorities change, and I am sure Mike and I will get there someday. He is just tired of being cast aside like he doesn't matter. He is tired of being the black sheep of his family, and wants to be looked at like the man he truly is. He has a house, a wife, a family of his own, a job, and a life of his own. People need to stop treating him like "little Mikey." Family get togethers should not automatically become babysitting jobs, and thats all they are to Mike and I anymore. No one ever asks how we are (it doesn't bother me because I just don't care enough) but I know it bothers Mike. No one seems to care about whats going on in his life, whats important to him...its all about the kids. THE DAMN KIDS! I say it like its their fault, and its not. Its the people who don't care about anyone but themselves and how cute their kids are and how cute it was that their kid took a shit today. WHOO-FUCKING-HOO! We don't care. We are at a place in our life where we don't even like kids and we don't want to be around kids. Hate us all you want, but at least we are honest. I don't like fake and I definitely do not like people who put on this display that their life is perfect. No one is perfect. I don't like people that have to be the center of attention, that have to be on top all the time, and that need other people's praises. It makes me sick. I don't even know where I am going with all of this. Bottom line- I feel for Mike. I feel terrible for him. I wish there was something I could do. The person I love most in this world is hurting and its not fair. He is such a good person and doesn't deserve to be treated like a second class citizen is his own family. He was the last to find out what the plan was for his own mothers 60'th birthday. That is a crime.

Good stuff- we are right in the middle of picking out paint colors for our house, planning a few vacations, and Mike's birthday is next week! I have something very special planned for him. I have an amazing family, great friends, and I am married to my best friend. Life is pretty good right now. Lets face it, it could be a lot worse. Ohh! Not that everyone wants to hear about our amazing sex life (I don't gloat like other people) but I just had the thought that after that huge rant about kids- it would be just our luck that we get pregnant soon. Don't be a fool and wrap your tool! If it does happen sooner than we want, then so be it. Thats life and you roll with the punches. However, we are still undecided on whether or not we want kids at all. Only the future will tell!! :)

GRRRRRRRRRR! Let me just say that I am so incredibly mad for Mike right now. He is too nice to get mad so I'll do it for him. I am not afraid to tell people how I feel and if it hurts their feelings then so be it, at least I am honest. That's all I have to keep telling myself.

Weird day.

2009-06-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

Today has been quite the day in Hollywood. First, Farrah Fawcett dies. Now Michael Jackson. Two amazing icons! I am quite the emotional person, and feel sad when anyone dies. But for some reason, I have been the biggest cry baby all day.

I obviously did not know Farrah, we have never met, and she was popular in my parents generation. I did happen to catch her cancer special, which was a very emotional hour of television. If you have not watched it, I suggest you do. Its inspiring, awful, sad, and enlightening all at the same time. Its like here is this person, this beautiful, good person, who has been handed their death sentence, and she still manages to find peace in her life. I am not as brave as her, or any cancer patient, and I probably never will be. I will (and I say will because I have this pessemistic theory that we all have cancer, we just don't know it) be the person who will always be asking "why me" and crying and whining about what I have to go through, how life isn't fair, and that I didn't deserve this.

On the day of her death, I couldn't help but think of Gram. It's almost been a year and I still cannot even think of her without crawling into a corner and bawling my eyes out. I'm heartbroken that she isn't here anymore. She didn't get to see the wedding she always told her doctors she was sticking around for. She didn't get to dance with my dad like she wanted. All I can think of are the things we didn't get to share together and the things I never told her. I feel so selfish. She was in so much pain and just wanted a break from it all, and all that meant was a phone call from me. I was so concerned with how I was dealing with her cancer and how much it hurt me, that I couldn't even pick up the phone to say hi. I should of called her everyday, and went to see her more...and I just didn't. My dad was right, now that she is gone, I have so many regrets. I feel so guilty, and I feel so ashamed of myself.

I wanted to post the euology that I gave at her funeral, but that is a little too personal to me. That is something that I want to save for myself and the loved ones that were there that day. Not just yet, but maybe someday. But Gram, if you are listening...

I am about to finally graduate college, just like I promised you. I still lock the door behind me every time I come into the house, and the wedding was beautiful and truly the happiest day of my life. I am sure you noticed when dad and myself were crying like babies during the father daughter dance. We were talking about you and how we wished you were there. And I know it was you who made the rain go away! So thanks. Thanks for my first puppy, for always being at my softball tournaments in 120 degree heat, and for always being supportive. Thank you for being you. There is no better grandma a kid could ask for. I miss you terribly and think of you all the time. I know the pain is gone and you are at peace.

Love,
Dani

Goodbye weekend

2009-06-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

Weekend is over :( Got my hair did, spent a night at the driving range. Cannot wait for the beer festival next weekend up in Flag!! I want to write more, but then again no I don't.

Oh PS- Devils won their first CWS game. Go Devils!!!

Case of the Mondays

2009-06-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

Hello all. This last weekend was so nutty. I have no idea whats up with the universe but its definitely something. I had so many blasts from the pasts. Is the big guy upstairs (we all know I don't necessarily believe in God, but someone is responsible) trying to tell me something? Are my last days approaching? I'm nervous. Last Thursday I went with my best friend to Roosters. Its in Mesa, Arizona. It's a landmark, you must go if you have not been. Every Thursday night is nickel beer night. Needless to say we almost drank ourselves to death. It was girls night out which is always a blast and much needed at times. I ran into an old friend from high school which I was not expecting. We ended our friendship on horrible terms and have not seen each other since. We share mutual friends so part of me knew it was inevitable. It was surprisingly refreshing. Even though we were drunk, it was good to chat, and see where we were as far as being comfortable with each other.

I am not going to get into details. I share a lot, but some things need to be private. Not to mention I really don't feel like re-living all the drama that went down. So anyway, we chatted. Actually, we talked, for awhile. I apologized, which is something that I don't do often. I am very prideful. I am also a big girl and can admit when I've done something shitty. I honestly wish I could take what I did back, I feel like I missed out on a lot. The other part of me says I did what I did, and I have to accept it, learn from it, and even appreciate it. I feel like if I hadn't made the choices I did, I wouldn't be where I am today. And I am pretty damn happy today. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful house, amazing friends, and the best family. Things happen for a reason and maybe we were meant to have a falling out, not talk for 8 years and then find each other that night. Whatever the reason, I am embracing it, and I am even a little excited to see what lies ahead.

In other news, the Sun Devils are going back to Omaha! Mike and I had the best weekend at the super regional games. Clemson didn't have a chance. Mike went to Omaha with my dad and some buddies a few years ago for 2 weeks and had the best time. ASU was there the year they went. We have decided that if ASU makes it to the championship series, we will go. But 10 days in Omaha is a lot, considering we just got back from NYC.

Mmmm what else? OMG, can you believe the weather we are having? Its been in the mid 80's to 90's all weekend. Its gorgeous in Arizona right now. Now I am totally convinced something is up with the universe...good weather, old friends...whats next? :)

Happy Hump Day

2009-06-03T18:51:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here at the toy store bored out of my mind! AHHHH! So tired of bratty kids and bitchy moms. Luckily, I have my husband here with me. I actually like to work when he is here. We talk mad crap about pretty much everyone that comes in. We comment on their clothes, their accents, what bad parenting skills we think they have...its very entertaining.

This week is going by so slow. There is nothing going on until tomorrow night. Me and my best friend and some other gals are having a girls night at this place called Roosters. Its been around for like 986568 years, my parents even went there when they were young. On Thursdays they have nickel beer night. You heard right, NICKEL BEER night. There isn't much out there that is as much fun as paying for some beers with a friggin dime.

Saturday, Mike and I are going to the ASU super regional baseball game. Some day drinkin, a baseball game with your best bud, it doesn't get much better.

I am going to Sephora after I get out of here, I need something more peppy in my wardrobe. I've decided on some new, fun colored nail polish. I have become quite the MAC girl- you get what you pay for! The girl that did our makeup for the wedding used it and turned me into a convert. Although I don't look like the girls you see on TheDirty.com So it's between this awesome green color and bright yellow. No, I haven't turned my back on pink quite yet, but thats what everyone is expecting. I am not predictable.

Pac-10 is KING!

2009-06-02T17:41:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well, know I am the biggest ASU fan you will ever meet. My family has had football, and baseball season tickets my whole life. Mike and I have even had basketball season tickets the last few years.

When I am not an ASU fan, I am a big Pac-10 fan. Infact, there isn't another conference that I like. I especially HATE HATE HATE the SEC. I would rather root for UA than any team in the SEC. What I hate most about them is their fans. I have been glued to the Women's College World Series for the last week and everytime they make a good play, have a good hit, or beat a team, they start chanting "SEC SEC SEC."

I have never in my life heard any other team from other conferences do this. When we kick their ass in pretty much everything but football, they don't hear us chanting "Pac-10 Pac-10 Pac-10." Maybe we should. That being said, GO HUSKIES! Please bring home the 4th straight Championship for the Pac-10. The Pac-10 OWNS the Womens college world series.

Just a quick side note, for 3 straight years, the Championship has not left the state of Arizona. My heart always lies with the Devils!

My new obsession

2009-06-02T16:47:00.000-07:00

These purses are by Judith Leiber. If you are a big fan of Sex and The City, you saw her cupcake purse in the movie. These are some of her new ones that are my favorites. They are so expensive but when have I ever been one to care about the cost of a handbag? Look at them! They are portable works of art :)

2009-06-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

This is Ally. We call her Ally Cat. She likes to use my macbook too. This was actually taken on the bed as I was packing for NYC. Don't worry, our room is actually clean, it just looks messy! So today I found out that I am a retard. I got all my summer school classes mixed up- which means Mike and I have to postpone our Idaho trip by a week. Kind of sucks because we had it planned to where it was for sure just going to be just us up there. Hopefully thats still the case.

What else? Ohhhhh! We are joining a gym. It was park of Mike's big raise that he just got at work. I think we are going to join Lifetime Fitness. Its close, and its nice. No more of this LA Fitness bull.

I have decided that Paradise Bakery and AJ's have the best iced tea. Nothing is as good as what I had in Texas, but it will do. Texas tea is sweet, and thick. It was amazing.

I am sitting here at the toy store bored out of my mind, hence the rambling. We still haven't figured out our 4th of July plans. I want to go out of town. I'd love to go camping. I want to go camping so bad. What is everyone else doing for the 4th?

Ok enough torture. Have a nice day!

2009-06-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

While I was updating my blog, I had to upload this picture. This is a picture of the Washington Monument our first night in D.C. I took this!! I am so proud since photography just became a little hobby of mine. Enjoy :)

YIKES!

2009-06-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

Holy holy cow! I has been nearly 6 months since I have posted anything. Where does the time go? There is so much to update everyone on. Well ok, so there are only 2 major things that have happened since my last post.

-I turned 24- so NOT cool

-I got married!

Thats right, I am officially Mrs. Shaw. Its so weird. I still tell people my last name is Rainwater and I still sign my last name as Rainwater. I guess that will come with time. The wedding was amazing, and most importantly, I married the most amazing guy! Maybe someday I'll care enough to post pictures, but whatev.

So right now, we are just enjoying our time together. We have even done a little traveling. We went to NYC and Washington D.C. & had the best time. We got to see so much. I'm excited for our summer, we have so much planned! Beer festivals, camping trips, a trip to Couer D'Alene. I have no idea if I am even spelling that right. Its in Idaho and one of the most gorgeous places on earth. Be jealous!

That is all for now...I am watching the first tonight show with Conan, so far so good!

Just wasting time

2008-12-02T17:57:00.000-08:00

Today is so yucky! I am in the worst mood. All this wedding stuff is driving me nuts. When Ashley was here a few weeks ago, we ordered our bridesmaid dress's and flower girl dress's. After a week of thinking about the ugly material the flower girl dress's were, I decided to cancel the order (which hadn't even been placed yet, I was waiting for an email with the final order, in which the store needed my intials before they would actually place the order). For a week, the order sat in their shop. We had payed our money and thats it, it had not been placed with the dress designers. So I told them I wanted to cancel the flower girl dress order and my soon to be mother in-law's $250 deposit was non-refundable! I got so mad because the order hadn't even been placed yet (like i just said!) So that was the start of all the wedding stress for this week. I just sat down and realized how much I don't have done. I don't even have my damn dress yet!!!!!!!!!!!!! The centerpieces aren't picked out, the place we wanted to have our rehearsal dinner is too far away, my bachlorette party has not been booked in Vegas, blah, blah blah! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

School is good. (You like that smooth transition from bridezilla to calm, collected college senior?) Its almost over. I have finals in 2 weeks. No winter break this year. I start my math class the day after Christmas at 8:30 am. Its 3 weeks of my life so we will see how it goes...early classes and me don't mix. Math and me really don't mix. Combined? I might as well be taking Chinese.

The toy store is doing well, but probably because its Christmas time. Oh well, we love it. I am getting the worst baby fever with all the families coming in. Its nuts! But then I get out of here and see some bratty kid throwing a fit in a restaurant and realize I am lucky to still have my freedom. Being a mommy will happen for me when its supposed to. I am going to Flagstaff tomorrow after class. Just to get away for literally a day. It will be good to see my parents and hang out in the cold weather.

peace!

Life is happening

2008-11-25T00:13:00.001-08:00

So, I started this blog assuming I would be writing an entry in it every day. I was way off. BUT, I am going to start writing in this more. Like I said before, I have so much to say!

Life has really been going 100 miles a minute lately. Things at the toy store are crazay!! We are super busy, but thats a good thing. Mike and I are working on getting our office cleaned and organized. After that we are going to have it painted and add a flat screen tv. You would definitely want to come to work with us. I have been put in charge of so many things and I could not be more excited. I am the marketing director, human resources, and co-manager of the store. Thats what Mike is calling me anyway. Its fun though. I love having so many responsibilities. The girls I work with are great. We all like each other and have great work chemistry. Even though the economy is in the shitter, I think things are going to be ok!

Wedding plans are coming along great. I have yet to find a dress. I KNOW, I KNOW! My dad said to me "I refuse to walk down the aisle with you in a potatoe sack." Don't worry dad, I will get a damn dress! Its frustrating. I thought it was going to be like picking out a prom dress. Of course I was a size 4 then...oh well. Enough of that.

I cannot believe the holidays are here. This year has literally flown by. I am so glad to see 2008 go. Its been a really rough year. But ohhh man, I am so excited to eat some pumpkin pie!!

I only have a few weeks left of classes. Thats kind of scary....

Ok so a lot of randomness, nothing important. I hope everyone has a great start to their holiday season!

History in the making

2008-11-04T21:59:00.000-08:00

Whew! It's been awhile since I have posted. I have been so busy and that is so refreshing to say. It's currently a few hours after the 44th President of the United States has just been announced and I must say that I am excited, and that's coming from a registered Republican. Whether you like it or not, history was made tonight again for this generation. I am so proud to live in a country that is breaking barriers everyday.

A few things that I want to touch on. I was listening to the radio on my way home tonight and SEVERAL people called in saying how scared, terrified, pissed off they were that Obama was leading the race. The common theme of all those callers was that they were all Republicans, and had NO SUBSTANCE what so ever. They reminded me a lot of McCain in the earlier presidential debates. All they could say was that they were scared for our country, but not why. I have a theory as to why people are nervous about Obama being the next president.

1) People are afraid of a man with the name Barack Hussein Obama and they are afraid to say it. You don't want to sound racist, but being the red-blooded American that you are, its nerve racking.

Tough shit. The election is over and whats done is done. You might as well embrace it or at least try to be optimistic, because;

2)People are tired of the same old shit. People are tired of the Bush administration. People are tired of the last 8 years. They want change. Any change is good at this point and in my opinion Obama is the lesser of two evils. The Bush administration has tarnished the face of the Republican reputation and that is why Obama is our new president.

Ok enough preaching. I am getting married in 5 months and 1 week and still have not found a dress. Time to start panicking! Anyway, I am tired. I am going to bed.

Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow!

Somebody has a case of the Mondays

2008-10-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

.....actually it's the complete opposite. Today was a good day. I got up on time, went to work, got all my stuff done, went to class and learned something, then went to Aunt Margie's (Mike's great aunt) 85th b-day party. I only hope I make it to 50, let alone 85.

ASU got their ass's kicked, again this weekend. I am so over football season. I'm definitely ready for basketball season. I read in one publication ASU is ranked 15. Go Devils!

I have a huge test in Research Methods this week which I am dreading. So this week is nothing but studying and running, I have a wedding dress to fit into in less than 6 months!

Maybe I'll have something more interesting to write tomorrow, I am pretty sleepy. Goodnight!

Day 2

2008-10-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

I am just about to make myself some lunch, mini raviolis to be exact. Then I am going shopping. I have a number of things on my list to get but some will have to wait. I also should of been born a millionaire.

PS- Computer virus's SUCK ASS!

Popping my blog cherry

2008-10-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

So, it has been years, no literally YEARS since I have had a blog. When I hit college, I thought I was too cool to have one. As it turns out, the blogs were too cool for me. I talk way too much and the people closest to me are already sick of what I haven't gotten around to telling them. This will be the perfect marriage, aside from my upcoming nuptuals next April. I am not sure what I am going to write about. My life isn't as crazy as I'd like it to be, but I always seem to be right in the middle of some drama and I like it that way. I am hoping this serves as the blueprint for the book I plan to write and publish before I'm 30. Didn't you get the memo? Ahh well, thats a discussion for another time, after I've had a few drinks.

Since it's late and my brain is on vacation till Monday (no work on Fridays which = 3 days weekends!) I will end here for today.

Life is good!